Friday, March 2, 2012

Fed: Macaroni cheese a sign of fatherly love

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Fed: Macaroni cheese a sign of fatherly love

By Sharon Labi

CANBERRA, Aug 18 AAP - They say the key to a bloke's heart is through his belly butnow it is men who are being told to dish up the macaroni cheese as a sign of love fortheir kids.

The key to good fathering involves spending adequate time with the children and doingactivities with them they particularly enjoy, says international fatherhood consultantand author Adrienne Burgess.

"Think of child care as an opportunity and a growing number of men are seeing thatway," Ms Burgess said.

"Children love it when you make the food they really like, they see that as evidenceof caring so when fathers learn those skills, he's actually learning to demonstrate thelove he already feels."

In Australia to address a two-day conference on fatherhood in Canberra, Ms Burgesssaid separation and divorce were a major concern but she offered tips to fathers on howto best bond with their kids.

Men should view time with their children after work as their next meeting of the dayand not an opportunity to switch off and unwind alone.

Being a dad is like having two jobs, Ms Burgess said, but fathers shouldn't get discouragedwhen their wife assumes control of the newborn.

Mums who stay home with their newborns often develop a routine and are more efficientat performing necessary tasks than their working husbands, leaving them feeling ineptand with a lack of confidence.

That Australia has no paid maternity leave scheme also places pressure on working fatherswho often have to work overtime to make up some of the shortfall in the household income.

That leaves them with less time to bond with their children.

"There's not very much support in there for the father-child relationship," Ms Burgess said.

"Fathers can be helped to utilise their time at home the best way; many are strugglingto do this."

Fathers tend to spend more time with their sons and more daughters report unsatisfactoryrelationships with their dads.

"It's a mixed bag ... fathers do more with their sons but they're very attached andvery protective and often very in love with their daughters," Ms Burgess said.

The conference is hoping to develop a strategy to turn the tide of fatherlessness in Australia.

AAP sal/sb/cjm/de

KEYWORD: DADS

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